April showers make me cry

Tears flow down my cheeks and I blow my nose into an already wet tissue. I’m burning up and my eyes are getting redder by the second. I feel another sneeze coming. This is why I don’t like the rainy season.

The incessant showers have washed the dust back on to the ground. All around town, green things are springing back to life, but me? I feel like I’m dying.

I feel even worse when I run into Adam at the Shell Station on Karen Road.

“Sam. Out in the rain, are we?” “Or were you hoping to run into me?” He asks.

This is how Adam talks. It used to make me laugh, but now it makes me defensive. Before I respond, his phone rings and he pulls it out of his pocket. It’s the Samsung Note 9 that I bought him for his twenty-seventh birthday. Had I known he was about to dump me, I wouldn’t have been so generous.

“Hi honey,” He leans forward and nods slightly to whatever ‘honey’ is saying. I watch him, and let my eyes take in his form fitting grey pants, fitted short-sleeved shirt and tan leather boots. He’s not lost his style.

“Okay, see you in ten minutes, the usual spot. Can’t wait to see you.” He hangs up after a few seconds.

“A date?” I ask. My eyes are still tearing up.

“Sam, we broke up a long time ago and we’re not getting back together. You know that right?”

I don’t know what annoys me more, that he doesn’t respond to my question or that he assumes I am still pining after him.

“These tears are not for you. It’s hay fever,” I retort.

“I know you better than that Sam, you were always crying about something,” he responds.

“Something? Is that what chronic cheating is called these days? You know what Adam, just get lost.”

I think of the way Adam had told me it was my fault that I couldn’t give him what he needed, and I feel a sudden rush of nausea. I vomit all over his boots. Some of it lands on his trousers.

“C’mon!” He exclaims and throws his hands up in the air. Across the parking lot, a pump attendant notices us, picks up a sponge and runs over.

“I’m sorry, I don’t feel too good,” I mumble and walk away from the messy situation.

I climb into my car and look through my side view mirror at the two of them trying to clean Adam’s shoes. Adam looks over at me, accusation in his eyes.

For once, I don’t feel guilty. I wipe my tears and drive off without looking back.

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